that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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