Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize