Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
