Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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