He is like the real live version of the state fair..
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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