If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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