I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
