i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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