Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
