go do what you do best...puke behind churches
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
