ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
