his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize