try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize