I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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