even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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