hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
it's like heaven, but drunker
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
