Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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