if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
