evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize