Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
