Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
