Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
