yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
