He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Acid is not a monday night drug
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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