ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
