I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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