why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
