I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
