you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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