you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
OPIZZABONMYDICK
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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