I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
