If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
