Don't you send me to vm
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
