Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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