i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
