But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
she pinky promised me she was 18
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize