I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
