Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
So much rum. So many feels.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
