Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
