belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
