Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
