Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize