I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I have post one night stand depression
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
