i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Everyone says I win the strip club
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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