Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
farters have to be the big spoon...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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