Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
