I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
