With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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