Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
