It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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