frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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