Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
