I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You were trust falling into bushes
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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