what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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