Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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