with your own penis?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
