'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Dignity is for republicans.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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