just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just gargled with NyQuil
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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