Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
