i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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