my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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