So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
