Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
