The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
