just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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