dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
PANTIES FOUND
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