I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
