Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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