Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
now i know why i became what i already was.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
